


Bouquet Full of Loathing

by mywritingbox



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, ACOTAR
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 21:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12262206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywritingbox/pseuds/mywritingbox
Summary: Flower Shop Modern AU - Person A owns a flower shop and person B comes storming in one day, slaps 20 bucks on the counter and says “How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you in flower?”Enjoy!Probably one of my favorite pieces that I've written!





	Bouquet Full of Loathing

_*slam*_

“How do I passive-aggressively say fuck you to someone in flower?”

Lucien was furious. He was fuming. He was sure that if he could be, he’d actually be on fire. It was too fucken early for him to be going back and forth with his coworker but that  _bitch_  loved to undermine him and continuously make his life hell at work.

Due to his outburst after their latest argument, his manager (who was also that demon’s manager) was forcing him to make amends by buying her a nice bouquet of flowers to say he was sorry. Which he wasn’t. Not even in the slightest. But oh, she was going to get that bouquet of flowers.

 _The Fawn’s Greenhouse_ was only a few blocks away and it was one way for him to release his anger, by taking a walk. But what he didn’t expect was to find a beautiful young woman behind the counter, staring at him like he was crazy. Then again, who walks into a flower shop and demands _those_ kind of flowers?

His eyes went to the nametag on the front of her dress and he felt his face go red.

 _Elain._  Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl.

Now Elain on the other hand, was slightly taken aback.

Elain loved her flowers. She loved any flowers.

She loved growing things in her garden and every single part of the process mattered to her; planting the seeds, watering them, monitoring their growth, and finally when they blossomed. Her flowers were her babies.

When Feyre and Nesta offered to pitch in and help her open her own flower shop, she was over the moon. Her own savings had fallen a little short and she was thrilled to have the support from her sisters.  _The Fawn’s Greenhouse_  was only a few blocks away from where Nesta worked as an editor at a literary agency and a few extra blocks from where Feyre taught Art at the local community college.

It was a great way for the three of them to meet for lunch or dinner quite often, as they would be tonight.

But to Elain, flowers meant many good things: happiness, gratefulness, new beginnings, apologies, and forgiveness. So when this strange angry red-headed male stormed into her shop and slammed money on the counter, growling at her, she was very taken aback at his request.

Elain finally blinked rapidly then chuckled. “Well, hello.” she said and leaned against the counter. “There are a few different ways to do that, Mr…?”

All the anger that Lucien had walked in with completely vanished and was replaced with awe as he took in her features.  _Gods, she was gorgeous._

Elain tilted her head to the side and Lucien almost combusted as she gave him an encouraging smile and he cleared his throat.

“Lucien.” he mumbled, a hand rubbing the back of his neck, the color on his cheeks matching his hair. “My name is Lucien.”

“Welcome to my flower shop, Mr. Lucien.” she replied automatically and gave him an even wider smile. “I see someone’s ruffled your feathers this morning.”

Lucien snorted, causing Elain to giggle. “Ruffled my feathers. More like plucked all my feathers to death that psychotic bit--” he cut himself off as Elain gave him an amused look. “I’m sorry. Let me start over.”

Elain watched, trying to hold back a grin as Lucien took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Hello.”

“Yes, hello.”

“You have a very lovely flower shop.”

“Thank you! I’ve worked very hard on it.”

“ _You_  are also very lovely as well.”

“You aren’t so bad yourself.”

“You could tell me I looked like a piece of filth and I would honestly take it as the highest of compliments.”

Elain burst out laughing at that and Lucien grinned. _Score for him._

“Well, that wouldn’t be very nice to say to anyone.” Elain replied, shaking her head with another chuckle. “Besides, it wouldn’t be true. You’re quite lovely yourself.”

Lucien leaned against the counter, the gap between them growing smaller. “I have never felt so lovely in my entire life.” he said, and with an exaggerated flick of his wrist, tossed his hair over his shoulder.

Elain laughed again and Lucien realized he’d only been in the shop for five minutes but he’d sell his soul to hear that sound over and over again.

“You have quite the humor, Mr. Lucien.”

“Lucien. Just...Lucien.” he corrected her gently with a smile. “Mister sounds too formal and I’d prefer to be on casual terms with the person that’s going to give me my special request flowers.” 

“Your ‘fuck you’ flowers?” she asked with a grin and he had the audacity to give a nonchalant shrug.

“The person deserves them, I can assure you.” he replied and sighed. “It’s my coworker. She makes my life a living hell at work. We had a fight and my manager is forcing me to get flowers as an apology. This is me trying to be nice.”

“By sending her ‘fuck you’ flowers?” Elain asked again, her lips twitching. She wondered about this so called ‘horrible coworker’.

“Keyword here, is _trying_.” he said with a grin and Elain laughed. “Not all of us can be as nice as you, Elain.”

Elain’s cheeks flushed. She liked the way he said her name a lot more than she’d care to admit.

“And how do you know I’m nice?” she countered, leaning off the counter and crossing her arms across her chest with a smile. “You’ve only just met me.”

“Your name is Elain, you’re beautiful, and you own a flower shop. You could literally stab a man in front of me and I would just say he had coming.” Lucien promptly replied. He sounded crazy, he was well aware, but instinct told him he wasn’t wrong. “Also, you smell really nice.”

Elain rolled her eyes and wanted to curse herself for the blush on her cheeks and the smile that was way too wide. “Are you always this shameless of a flirt, Lucien?”

He straightened up as Elain pulled out a book from under the counter and placed it in front of him, flipping through the pages. “Only with pretty girls who own flowershops named Elain.” he said and gave her a charming smile when she paused her flipping to look at him.

She shook her head and chuckle lightly. He was shameless. Very handsome but oh so shameless. “So,” she started, going back to flipping through her flower book for the right ones to fit his order, pointing as she explained. “We have a few options for your amusing choice in bouquet. There are Geraniums -- Horseshoe Geranium which specifically means stupidity and Foxglove flowers which can mean insincerity. There’s also Meadowsweet flowers which mean uselessness, Yellow Carnations that indicate you’re disappointed in a person, and last but not least, Orange Lilies which symbolize hatred.”

Elain finally looked up at Lucien, whose grin had gotten wider and wider with each flower that she rattled off and she laughed at his expression. “I take it all these options sound good?” she questioned with a raised brow.

Lucien’s grin was wicked. “Oh, these sound fantastic. Can I have a mix of them all in a bouquet? Please?”

Elain rolled her eyes and chuckled. “As you wish, good sir.” she said then pursed her lips as she started writing down his order. “Is there a note you’d like me to add with the bouquet?”

His eyes lingered on her pursed lips long enough that Elain had to look up confused at his silence and a blush creeped on both their faces.

“Sorry.” he said with a sheepish grin and Elain bit her lip, holding back a smile as she continued filling out the order. A moment passed in silence before she responded.

“I don’t mind.” she said softly.

“Good. Because there’s a lot to admire.” Lucien responded, leaning back on the counter, closer to her.

“I’m sure getting spoiled with compliments today.” she said, giving him a playful smile and he grinned in return.

“They’re all well-deserved compliments. I meant them all.”

“Oh, I know. It’s why I haven’t kicked you out yet.” she said as she moved around her counter, grabbing a note card for him to write on and a pen as he laughed. “For your note. The bouquet shouldn’t take too long...I’m caught up on all my early orders. Would you like to wait or should I have them delivered?”

She tilted her head, waiting for his answer and the smile she gave him told him their thoughts were on the same wavelength.

She wanted him to wait.

And wait he would. He’d wait an enterinty for those fucken flowers as long as she kept talking to him. Lucien had shamelessly told her this, realizing too late that he was babbling his thoughts outloud.

Elain’s laughter was enough to ease his embarrassment and the two continued chatting as she moved about, putting the bouquet together. Lucien watched her, appreciating the way she moved and talked and the way she laughed at his jokes. Elain’s cheeks were stained red as they talked, trying to contain how much she was enjoying the attention he was giving her, how invested he was in everything she was saying and doing. Their conversation was comfortable and had flowed so naturally that both of them were slightly disappointed in how quickly she finished.

Giving him a shy smile, she gently placed the finished bouquet in all it’s glory in front of him. “Here it is!” she said cheerfully. “Your requested bouquet. Beautiful and full of loathing.”

Lucien grinned, eyeing her work approvingly. “It looks stunning.” he replied and Elain smiled widely, pleased. “Just like the lovely lady who put it together.”

Elain giggled as he reached out, taking her hand and kissed it. “You’re too much.” she mumbled and Lucien chuckled.

“I can’t help it. Something about you…” he said quietly and the two locked eyes.

“Something about you too.” she agreed and Lucien smiled. He paid her and balanced the bouquet in his hands. His eyes flickered between the bouquet and the beautiful girl who had made it and he quickly licked his lips.

“Would...would you like to go out to dinner sometime?” he asked and relief filled his whole body as she beamed at him.

“I would love to.”

“Great! Friday night?”

“I’ll be ready at 6:30.”

“Perfect.”

Elain smiled at him then grabbed one of her notecards and quickly jot down her number. “I expect more shameless flirting till then.” she said softly, curling a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And I will be more than happy to oblige.” He replied, giving her a wink and Elain giggled.

“I’ll see you Friday then.”

“I’ll be flirting with you sooner than that though.” he replied and she winked at him in return, a blush erupting on both their cheeks.

“I look forward to it.”

“Gods, you’re so fucken cute.” Lucien mumbled and Elain laughed, dipping her head shyly. “I have to leave before this kills me.”

She covered her burning face, grinning widely as she then waved him off. “Go back to work before you get fired.”

“Worth it.” he said, using his free hand to make a finger gun and she snorted softly as he waved then finally left the shop.

Elain bit her lip, smiling to herself. In one way or another, her flowers were always bringing her joy.

~

Elain rushed into the restaurant that she had agreed to meet her sisters in earlier that day. She was very excited to tell them about her encounter with Lucien. He had kept his word about the shameless flirting and had her phone buzzing all day; she still couldn’t believe how it happened.

Her pace slowed down when she saw Feyre and Nesta, both seated at their usual table, secluded in a quiet corner of their favorite place. It wasn’t until she was close enough to hear their conversation that she froze completely. On the chair next to Nesta was her bag and a bouquet of flowers that was strangely familiar.

_Too familiar._

“And then this asshole hands it to me with a note that says ‘I’m sorry’ in quotation marks like the sarcastic little shit he is.” Nesta snarled and Feyre started laughing. “And then adds that I should look up the meaning of each flower to really appreciate his apology. I’m going to ask Elain what they mean.”

“You are really mean to him, Nes. I’m sure he’s not as horrible as you make him sound.”

“He’s a piece of shit. It brings me joy to make him miserable.” Nesta said with a snort and then noticed Elain. “Elain! You’re finally here. Come on, we’re starving.”

Elain approached the table and sat down slowly, smiling nervously.  _Oh boy._

“...Nice flowers, Nesta.”

“Thanks.” Nesta replied with a wave of her hand and then picked them up to show Elain. “I got them from a shithead at work as an apology. What do the flowers mean?”

Elain groaned internally. It was indeed her bouquet full of loathing. She bit her lip. “The guy who gave them to you...his name is Lucien, right?”

Nesta froze and Feyre looked at her curiously.  _“Yes.”_  she hissed. Quickly grabbing the note card again, Nesta looked it over. “How did I not notice that he got them from your shop!? That bastard! Did he bother you?!”

“No! He was very sweet.” Elain replied quickly, blushing. “Actually...he asked me out on a date and I said yes. We’ve been texting all day.”

Silence fell on the table before Feyre burst out laughing and Nesta snarled,  _“What?!”_

“It’s later this week. I’m...looking forward to it.”

“Like hell you’re going!” Nesta hissed. “With that idiot! That good for nothing garbage can --”

Elain cut her off with a look. “Nesta.”

Feyre’s laughter had finally subsided and she wiped at her eyes. “Nes...you should be excited for her. She likes him!”

Elain narrowed her eyes at Nesta’s face that was filled with rage, daring her to argue. Feyre looked between the two, her lips twitching.

“So what’s he  _actually_  like, then?” Feyre quickly asked. “We know Nesta hates him and makes his life living hell at work.”

Elain gave Nesta one more look before her eyes flickered to Feyre’s face and she gave her a small smile. “He’s actually really nice and funny. I --”

 _“He has a glass eye and a scar across his face!”_   Nesta’s growl interrupting her.

“So?!” Elain automatically replied, pouting. “He got it in an accident! It makes him a strong person!”

“ _He has a glass eye!”_

“It makes no difference to me! I like his personality!”

_“He’s an asshole, Elain!”_

“You think Cassian’s an asshole too and you’re living with him!” Elain hissed back. “Your judgement isn’t exactly perfect!”

“Well, she gets dicked down by Cassian so I mean…” Feyre interjected with a shrug and Nesta glared at her, her cheeks burning.

“ _That_  is irrelevant.”

“Is it, Nes? Is it really?” Feyre asked with a raised brow.

The table fell silent again as Nesta and Elain glared at each other and Feyre tried her best not to laugh. It was only when her phone beeped that Elain torn her eyes away from the vicious staring contest with her sister.

 

> _Text from: Lucien  
>  How’s dinner going with your sisters? Hopefully I’m not interrupting anything._

Elain’s eyes looked back up at her sisters and her blush gave away who she was talking to, causing Nesta to glare even harder and Feyre to grin widely.

 

> _Text to: Lucien  
>  No, not at all! I was just telling them about you…funny enough, one of my sisters knows you._

> _Text from: Lucien  
>  Really? What a small world! Which sister is that?_

Elain hesitated before she sent the next message.

 

> _Text to: Lucien  
>  The coworker you bought the bouquet full of loathing for. She goes by the name Nesta…though you might refer to her very differently._

Elain bit her lip, frowning after she sent the message. She flipped her phone over then looked at her sisters.

“Now he knows we’re sisters.” Elain grumbled as Feyre rattled off their usual orders to the waiter.

“Good. If he’s smart, he’ll back off.” Nesta growled and Feyre shoved her gently.

“You back off. Let her live.”

“I don’t like him.”

“There’s a surprise.”

Elain’s reply didn’t make it to her mouth when her phone started ringing. Flipping it over, she blinked in surprise at Lucien’s name popping up. She immediately picked up.

“Hello?”

“I’m so sorry for interrupting you at dinner but I realize how awkward this position is for you right now.” he said, hoping he sounded as apologetic as he felt.

Elain chuckled, a small smile on her face. “Are you calling to tell me our date is cancelled now?”

“ _No._ ” he replied and Elain’s smile grew wider at how horrified he sounded at the idea. He cleared his throat. “I actually wanted to apologize for saying those things about your sister earlier and I promise that I’ll behave and keep work and personal life separate so that you don’t have to feel weird because your sister and I hate each other. Professionally speaking.”

Elain laughed softly. “Just professionally?”

“...Please don’t make this more difficult for me.” he whined softly on the phone. “It’s bad enough I bought her a bouquet full of loathing from her own sister’s shop.”

“Plot twist, isn’t it?”

It was Lucien’s turn to laugh. “Yes, it is. Does she know what the flowers mean?”

Elain grinned. “Not yet.”

“Let’s keep it that way, please.”

“Fair enough.”

“Really, Elain? You’re letting that walking pile of trash interrupt our dinner like this?” Nesta said, making sure she was loud enough to be heard on the other end of the line.

Elain gave Nesta a reproachful look as Feyre shoved her again. “Behave.”

“Fine...but let me talk to him. He is my coworker after all.” Nesta said, her tone calm. She held out her hand.

Elain looked at her suspiciously but Nesta just wiggled her fingers. Her mouth went into a thin and she sighed. “Lucien, Nesta wants to talk to you.”

“More plot twists.” he said, chuckling.

“You don’t have to.” Elain automatically said but both Lucien and Nesta responded at the same time.

“Yes, he does.

“Yes, I do.”

Elain groaned then held the phone to her chest. “Nesta... _please_  be polite.”

“No guarantees.”

Squinting at her older sister, she finally handed her the phone with a sigh, pressing on the speaker so they could all hear.

“Hello cockroach.” Nesta greeted him and Elain facepalmed as Feyre snorted.

 

> _“Hello demon.”_

“Of all the people you decided to hit on, you had to choose my sister?”

 

> _“I respectfully asked her out on a date. She’s a grown woman. I don’t really think it’s your business.”_

“It isn’t.” Elain added and Nesta squinted at her.

“I’m going to be watching your every move and I swear to god if you so much as lay a finger on my sister, I will crush you with my bare hands.” Nesta threatened in one breath. “That is a promise you filthy little vermin --”

Elain snatched the phone from her hand as Feyre cut her off. “Nesta!”

 

> _“Jesus christ, Nesta. I’m not going to hurt Elain!”_ Lucien hissed on the phone _._

“What if I want him to touch me?” Elain snapped, knowing it would silence both her sisters and Lucien. “Hm? What if I -- what’s the phrase you used about Cassian and Nesta, Feyre? -- What if I want to get  _dicked down_  by Lucien? Would that be such a big deal?”

Lucien made a sound on the phone that sounded like he was choking as Nesta gasped loudly.

“Elain!”

Taking her phone off speaker, she put it back to her ear and spoke softly, “Lucien, I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

“Yup. Sounds good.” he responded, truly sounding like the air was being choked out of him and Elain's face turned red.

Closing the call, she eyed her sister and held up a hand as Nesta was ready to launch into a speech. “Listen. I know you’re my older sister and you worry about me because I like flowers and I seem like a giant idiot who gets easily fooled --”

“That’s never how I think of you, Elain -- “ Nesta quickly interjected, her face falling.

“And I know you’re worried about me because the breakup with Graysen was really bad and I was very hurt,” Elain continued, halting Nesta again as her voice shook. “But I am okay. I am fine. And I’m ready to try something new. So please…. _please_ be nice to Lucien. I want to see where this goes.”

Nesta fell silent and Feyre gently leaned over to pat Elain’s hand with a small smile.

“We know, Elain. We love you and support you in whatever decision you want to make.” Feyre said softly. “I look forward to getting to know him.”

“...I’m sorry.” Nesta added and reached out to place her hand on Elain’s other hand. “I’ll behave... _Try_  to be nicer to him.”

“Thank you.” Elain said, a relieved smile on her face until Nesta clenched her hand tightly with death in her eyes.

“But if I ever heard the term dicked down and Lucien in the same sentence again, I  _will_  kill someone.”

Silence fell on the table once more as Elain closed her eyes, internally groaning at how she was going to have address that with Lucien when she got home.

It wasn’t until the waiter served their dinner and walked away that Feyre finally broke the silence.

“But what if she  _does_  want to get dicked down by Lucien? Elain sounded very enthusiastic.”

“ _Feyre!_ ” Nesta hissed as the youngest sister broke down in giggles.

Elain groaned audibly now, her face in her hands knowing Feyre was never going to let this go.

“I’m just saying, go Elain, if you do. Nesta said he was a redhead, do you think the carpet matches the drapes?”

“ _Feyre --  I swear to all the Gods I will stab you with this fork if you don’t stop._ ”

“Elain, you’ll be sure to share details, right? I want Nesta to know every detail of when you and Lucien finally get down to business.”

“ _Feyre --_ ”

“Ohhhh what if Elain visits him at work and you walk in on her getting dicked down by Lucien  _in_  his office?  _On_  his desk?”

Feyre squeaked as Nesta assaulted her in some form or another. Elain had given up, sighing deeply, her face burning.

Who knew a bouquet of flowers would cause so much trouble?

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome :)


End file.
